Compared to before, the desire to write has become smaller day by day. I often feel anxious and restless. Once again, I force myself to calm down and review this year.
Life and Changes#
Finally graduated and fully entered society, starting to find a job and earn a living. Thinking back to the first half of the year, I was still in school, tormented by my graduation project, occasionally drinking and bragging with my roommates at night. In comparison, they seemed to be the group of people with a bright future, while my future was blurry, with only a glimmer of light. What lies behind that light is still unknown. I left school around July and received my graduation certificate, but I couldn't get my diploma until a year later because I hadn't completed a military theory course. I stayed at home for a few days and then came to Hangzhou. My parents' health was not good, and they would argue every day at home, bringing up old grudges over trivial matters. No one's persuasion worked, and they continued to argue every day. I became less and less willing to go home and escaped to Hangzhou.
I came to Hangzhou for the first time during the Chinese New Year last year (2021) due to an argument. I came to work with two friends I've known for many years. We were still in the service industry, working as waiters. I could earn more than 5,000 yuan a month, which was not bad, although it was tiring. At least I saved some money, which allowed me to spend the first two months in Hangzhou after graduation. Originally, I discussed with them the idea of trying to become a game streamer together, but after coming here, we had to go our separate ways. One friend had a mortgage to pay and didn't save much money after coming out, so he couldn't afford the initial expenses of streaming and had to go to Shanghai to work. The other friend enrolled in a training class in Shanghai to learn testing. These were the first two months in Hangzhou after graduation. I improved my cooking skills during this time, and I can make a decent braised pork.
After parting ways, I met my current landlord and his dog on a rental platform called "Wei Xin Suo Yu".
What I Have Done#
Up until now, my daily life consists of walking the dog and searching various platforms for potential jobs. I have made some friends and have a monthly fixed income of 1,000 yuan. I work for a small team doing UI and front-end development. The atmosphere is harmonious, and they are a precious group of friends I have met in Hangzhou. In addition, I have worked on several small projects: "rpshare" - a file sharing mini-program, "Walking the Dog" - a mini-program for finding nearby dog walking partners, and "Mai Mo" - a WeChat mini-program client for the open-source project "usememos". Yes, I still enjoy developing mini-programs. I have also studied Node.js + Express for the backend. The backend for "Walking the Dog" is built with Node.js. I am gradually moving away from WeChat Cloud Development because the cost of using it is too high...
I have also learned a lot about React. I can now write more complex projects for the web using Next.js, and I have become more proficient in responsive design for mobile. I have also learned a new technology stack called Tailwind CSS, and once you start using it, you can't go back. Tailwind CSS is just too convenient.
Since the closure of rpshare on WeChat Cloud Development, it can no longer be used. I have always wanted to find time to refactor the backend of rpshare, but now I think it may not be necessary. Rpshare is not a good idea. Using WeChat for file sharing is too restrictive. Perhaps I can make it more specialized... Currently, I evaluate myself as being capable of being an excellent mini-program front-end developer, mobile UI designer, decent backend developer, and good web front-end developer. This can be considered a significant achievement of this year, the fruit of anxiety and pressure.
I still haven't lived the life of an independent developer that I idealize. I haven't become a freelancer who can live a decent life and achieve "inner peace" continuously. However, I have become an uncle. My sister gave birth to a chubby baby this year. He is very cute and can now say "mom" and "dad," which is making my sister urgently train him to call me "uncle." This year, I also sent out red envelopes for the first time during Chinese New Year, haha. I gave him a red envelope with 1,000 yuan, an amount I have never received before in my life. I envy him for having such a good uncle like me!
It is worth mentioning that I am still spending the Chinese New Year away from home this year. I will return home on the 5th after the holiday, but I probably won't stay for long and will have to return to Hangzhou. My father's health is still okay, but his mind is getting more and more confused. Every time I call, he can't talk for long and gets anxious to hang up the phone... I often tell myself that I will regret not spending more time with my family at home someday, but every time I'm at home, I hear them arguing and forcing me to do things I don't want to do...
I told them to keep the money they saved for themselves and not give it to me, but they didn't listen. They still do all kinds of labor at home, farming and raising sheep with their heavy bodies. I don't want to and can't afford to buy a house. Even when I have the financial ability, I may not want to buy a house. The same goes for getting married and having children. In my opinion, I wouldn't be a good husband or father. I just want to live a little easier and make the people I care about live a little easier, with more happiness and less worries.
What to Do#
- Continue to strive to become a freelancer
- Spend more time with parents, call them, and send greetings on important holidays
- Get out of singlehood, at least spiritually
- Have a healthier body than last year and live a happier life
- Travel, go to the seaside
That's all. Thank you, myself. You've worked hard. 🍀
