Compared to before, the desire to write has diminished day by day, and I often feel anxious and restless. Once again, I force myself to calm down and review the past year.
Life and Changes#
Finally graduated, completely entered society, and started to find a job to support myself. Thinking back to the first half of the year, I was still in school, tormented by my graduation project, occasionally drinking and bragging with my roommates at night. In comparison, they seemed to be the group of people with a bright future, while my future was blurry, with only a glimmer of light. What lies behind that light is still unknown. I left school in July and received my graduation certificate, but I couldn't get my diploma until a year later because I hadn't completed a military theory course. I stayed at home for a few days and then came to Hangzhou. My parents are not in good health and argue every day at home, bringing up old grievances over trivial matters. No one's persuasion works, and they still argue every day. I don't want to go home anymore, so I escaped to Hangzhou.
I came to Hangzhou for the first time last year (2021) during the Chinese New Year. It was also because of an argument. I came to work with two friends I've known for many years. We were still in the service industry, working as waiters. I could earn more than 5,000 yuan a month, which was not bad, although it was tiring. At least I saved some money, which allowed me to spend the first two months in Hangzhou after graduation. Originally, I discussed with them the possibility of becoming game streamers together, but after coming here, we had to go our separate ways. One friend had a mortgage to pay and hadn't saved much money after coming out, so he couldn't afford the initial expenses of streaming and had to go to Shanghai to work. The other friend enrolled in a training class in Shanghai to learn testing. These were the first two months in Hangzhou after graduation. I improved my cooking skills during this time, and I can make a decent braised pork.
After parting ways, I met my current landlord and his dog on a rental platform called Weixinsuoyu.
What I Have Done#
Up until now, my daily life consists of walking the dog and searching various platforms for potential jobs. I have made some friends and have a monthly fixed income of 1,000 yuan. I work for a small team doing UI and frontend work, and the atmosphere is harmonious. They are a precious group of friends I have met in Hangzhou. In addition, I have worked on several small projects: rpshare - a file sharing mini-program, Walking the Dog - a mini-program for finding nearby dog walking partners, and Maimo - a WeChat mini-program client for the open-source project usememos. Yes, I still enjoy making mini-programs. I have also studied Node.js + Express backend development. The backend for Walking the Dog is built with Node.js. I am gradually moving away from WeChat Cloud Development because the cost of using it is too high...
I have also learned a lot about React. I can now use Next.js to develop complex projects on the web, and I have become more proficient in responsive design for mobile devices. I have also learned a new technology stack called Tailwind CSS, and once you start using it, you can't go back. Tailwind CSS is just too convenient.
Since rpshare can no longer be used after WeChat Cloud Development was shut down, I have always wanted to find time to refactor the backend of rpshare. But now I think it may not be necessary. Rpshare is not a good idea. Using WeChat for file sharing is too restrictive. Perhaps I can make it more specialized... Currently, I consider myself capable of being a great frontend developer for mini-programs, a skilled UI designer for mobile devices, a decent backend developer, and a good web frontend developer. This can be considered a major achievement of the year, the fruit of anxiety and pressure.
I still haven't lived the life of an independent developer as I envisioned, nor have I become a freelancer who can live a decent life with continuous "inner peace". However, I have become an uncle. My sister gave birth to a chubby baby this year. He is very cute and can now say "mom" and "dad", which is making my sister urgently train him to call me "uncle". This year, I also sent out red envelopes for the first time during Chinese New Year. It's funny because I have never received a red envelope with such a large amount before. I envy him for having such a good uncle like me!
It is worth mentioning that I am still spending Chinese New Year away from home. I will return home on the 2nd or 5th day after the New Year. My father's health is still okay, but his mind is getting more and more confused. Every time I call, he can't speak for long and gets anxious to hang up the phone... I often tell myself that one day I will regret not spending more time with my family, but every time I am at home, I hear them arguing and forcing me to do things I don't want to do...
I told them to keep the money they saved for themselves and not give it to me, but they didn't listen. They still do various things at home, working hard with their heavy bodies, farming, and raising sheep. I don't want to and can't afford to buy a house. I don't think I will want to buy a house or get married and have children even when I have the financial ability. In my opinion, I won't be a good husband or father. I just want to live a little easier and make the people I care about live a little easier, with more happiness and less worries.
What to Do#
- Continue to strive to become a freelancer
- Spend more time with parents, call them, and send greetings on important holidays
- Get out of singlehood, at least spiritually
- Have a healthier body than last year and live a happier life
- Travel, go to the seaside
That's all. Thank you, myself. You've worked hard. 🍀
